Tuesday Blues

Today, is the day that I am conflicted in my thoughts on what shall I do next. But then I remember that I have this blog to pour my thoughts over regarding the next best agenda for me. I guess, there are a lot of uncertainties as much as possibilities in life. However, I need this time to write down my thoughts and this is the best option for me.

Fangirling has never stopped me from being myself and I think that in fangirling, I find myself; and this is where my character has developed over the years. I still believe that the best outlet there is to me is to revel on the things that generally boost up my confidence. Over the past years, I have drowned myself on a lot of things and I experimented on what may be or may not be applicable on me in the future being an adult. I find myself still going back to my roots of interest which is this passion.

So, I tried to be a little bit focused on myself more and do favors than I'd be willing to do as much as when I fangirl. I guess it has taught me to become wiser in what I do and in what I aim to do. I want to free myself of whatever are those that keep on dragging me to compete with others in the outside world. But I also learned that there is so much to achieve even when you are not in the field. You can use it to build yourself, create something with the idea of giving back and utilizing what you already know. So, I'm here I guess, this is one purpose in my life that I will forever hold and not let go. It makes me feel alive and also, I didn't choose it but it chose me. Even though this is just a hobby that took my time, I guess I can still make it a worthwhile event and an inspiring venture.

When I talk about the stuff that I love, they are the music, the books, the dramas, the artists and a whole lot of things. I love popular things but I try to limit them to what I truly need in the moment. I find myself singing to Selena Gomez songs and I feel like they are very relatable. So I actually want to see her right now and I still feel sorry that I didn’t get to see Apink last Saturday and so is AG last year and Little Mix last May.

I guess, my difference to other fangirls is that I fangirl with myself and seldom with people. I just love loving things on my own. I buy original CDs, books, collect stuff, etc. That is how I love, which is tough but considerably good because they serve as memorabilia.

Right now, I am contemplating hard on whether I should attend a concert or book for travel? What do you think is the best option for me? I hope the universe is listening because it's hard to decide when money is involved. /SIGH

I can’t believe this is the only problem in the world that I have right now. But I want to send in my message for today to myself and to the world that following your heart may not bring you to places or people that will contribute to your success but it will make you grow in the direction of no looking back. So now, go on to where the wind is going and where the water is flowing but someday, you’ll make a big difference. So live in the present and let the struggle rolling.